How To Win At Slots At Indian Casinos
by Leslie McDonald
A month ago I was contacted by a newspaper reporter from Colorado who requested an interview with me. He said he was writing a story about the casinos lowering the payback on the slot machines that were making it harder for the players to win. He wanted my opinion on the subject and he was surprised by my answer. Why Players Win Fewer Jackpots. Most casinos advertise the slots payback percentages. However, if you cannot figure out the payback statistics remember that as a rule $5 (or higher) slot machines provide the highest paybacks of up to 99%. Practice slots for free. Before playing for real money, practice a lot in order to know all the game options and learn how to win at slots. This is the one game at the casino that everyone from the broke 21 year-old newbie to the veteran 75-year-old grandma can afford and play. However, even though penny slots are one of the most popular games at any casino, it’s amazing how many people still aren’t sure how and where to play.
Always sign up for the casino’s reward program. I’ve never understood the paranoia some players have about these programs. Yes, playing with your casino rewards card allows the casino to track your play. This is very valuable information. You’re letting the casino look over your shoulder, so to speak, and observe your gambling habits. In exchange for this information, the casino offers a variety of perks: from discounts at the dining venues to automatic bonuses while you play to entries in sweepstakes and giveaways. Even if you don’t intend to stay long or play much, you should sign up for the program. Casinos always have incentives and promotions for new member sign-ups.
Here’s what the casino cannot do with the information you give us: we cannot affect the outcome of the games you play. There is no office where we sit with a big red jackpot button and decide who wins and who loses. We cannot tap into your bank account or access your social security card. And we don’t sell your information to third parties or share it with the government unless you win and we have to report it to the IRS or you’re caught laundering your drug money, in which case signing up for the rewards program probably isn’t a good idea.
Ask and you shall receive. The people who work in guest services put up with a ton of shit. If you are polite, good looking, friendly in a non-creepy way, and actually spending money at the casino and not trying to get something for nothing, guest services will bend over backwards to comp you. What does this mean? It depends on how much money you’re spending, but it can mean free meals and hotel rooms, a limo ride home, concert tickets, green fees, invitations to the tribe’s luxury box at pro sporting events, etc. Typically, only the head(s) of guest services can authorize high-level comps, so find out who they are and ask them directly. The easiest way to do this is to pick up a house phone (they’re everywhere if you look for them) and ask to speak with the director of guest services. Use your common sense: don’t ask for a free buffet on mother’s day when the line stretches out the door. And if the casino has a hotel always, always, always ask for a free night. Many Indian casinos struggle to put bodies in the beds on a regular basis and they want to keep you on the property.
Indian casinos can be dangerous places. Be extra mindful when entering or leaving an Indian casino as the guests drive like maniacs. A bad night on the slot machines can negatively impact a guest’s concentration. Worse than the losers are those whose eagerness to gamble makes them reckless with anticipation. This goes double on weekend nights at casinos that serve alcohol, particularly those in remote locations. At Thunderclap, a state road runs along the edge of the reservation, separating the casino from the shops and fast food restaurants across the street. Even though there’s a stoplight exclusively for pedestrian use, every year someone gets killed. They see the bright lights and think they’re at Disneyland and get mowed down by a pick-up truck.
Be safe with your money. You wouldn’t flash your bankroll in a 7-Eleven, so you shouldn’t do it at a casino. Don’t let the fancy chandeliers fool you. If you stood at the entrance for an hour and saw all the people they let in the place you’d watch your back a lot more carefully than you do. Casinos are reasonably safe, but remember the casino is mostly interested in the security of its own money, not yours. Case in point, if you’ve won big and you’re not a particularly attractive man and you suddenly find yourself receiving amorous attention from a beautiful young woman, you should be very suspicious.
Also, watch out for tweakers.
The best deals at an Indian casino are usually in the restaurants. Most casinos have a food and beverage department headed by an experienced chef, but they’re probably not pouring their heart and soul into preparing the menu for the buffet. (There are exceptions, however.) The best value in the house can generally be found at the fanciest restaurant. The price of the least expensive entrée is likely comparable to what you’ll pay for a trip to the buffet and you’ll have a much better culinary experience. Also, lines for the buffet can be long and time-consuming, particularly during peak hours and holidays, while the upscale restaurant sits relatively empty.
While we’re on the subject of food, find out what the casino does well. Are they known for their prime rib? Seafood spread? Do they have a pastry chef that serves up astonishing desserts? It pays to find out. While the lines for the prime rib or seafood buffets may be prohibitive, chances are these menu items will be excellent everywhere in the casino. For example, Thunderclap has a pastry chef that regularly wins awards for her cakes. She supervises the entire department. So not only are the desserts in the high-end restaurants exceptional, but the sweets at the coffee cart and in the bingo snack bar are pretty amazing, too. And they cost a lot less.
Finally, if you’re over three-hundred pounds and so is your wife and your children are well on their way to childhood obesity and early-onset diabetes, please don’t be rude to me while you ask for directions to the buffet for I will not be able to conceal my contempt for you and the decisions you make for you and your family. I’ll be honest with you, I’m not even going to try, and all of us will be worse off for the encounter.
by Leslie McDonald
1.
There are two kinds of slot players: those who play to win and those who play for entertainment. What’s fascinating about slot players is that nearly all of them will tell you they play to win, even if their behavior indicates otherwise. I can’t think of another activity where the distinction between perception and reality is so great.
2.
Take for example the drug addict who can go days without using and whose usage doesn’t cause problems at work or home. (Yet.) While this person insists there’s nothing abnormal about their behavior, they will at least acknowledge that there are those whose drug use has gotten out of control. Not so the slot player, for whom the notion that someone would pay all that money simply to be entertained is so strange that it can barely be comprehended. Of course they’re playing to win! Except they’re not.
3.
The sound that most associate with slots is the rattle of coins hitting the tray. Now that paper tickets that are cashed out at the cage have replaced coins, this sound is simulated electronically. At Thunderclap, the main hall was built above the basement. As the casino expanded and more slot machines were installed, the floor had to be bolstered to support the weight of the machines with a full load of coins. Shortly after this retrofit was completed, slot machines went coinless.
4.
Slot players who play to win are system players. If you’re not playing with a system, you’re not playing to win. You’re just paying rent on a stool.
5.
Different games require different systems. Video poker has the most complex system. There are many different kinds of video poker games and they each require a different system of play. If you go through the trouble to learn them (and the information is readily available; there are countless books on the subject) you can neutralize the house’s advantage, making video poker the best bet to break even in the casino. Play the games they way they are meant to be played, and they’ll pay. But people don’t go to casinos to do math, they go to have fun.
6.
Anything can be a system: Only playing certain machines on certain days is a system. Limiting how much money you spend is a system. Wearing green socks on the first Friday of every month is a system. The key to systems is consistency. If you don’t stick to your system, there’s no way to gauge its effectiveness, i.e. there’s no point to even having one.
7.
Every dollar that gets put into a slot machine cycles through the game approximately 2.5 times before it ultimately ends up in the player’s pocket or the casino’s vault.
How To Win At Slots At Indian Casinos Play
8.
Here’s a system you can use. Let’s say you’re playing an old-fashioned three-reel machine at a dollar a spin with a max bet of three. A reel is a mechanical wheel that spins inside the machine. When the symbols on the reels line up in a designated pattern, the player wins. This line is called the payline. If you put in $10, the credit meter will display 10. You can bet one, two, or three credits. If you bet three credits, i.e. max bet, when the reels spin your credit meter adjusts to 7. Congratulations, a single spin on a $1 machine just cost you $3. It’s particularly frustrating when the first reel of your $3 bet stops between symbols. At this rate, you’ll be broke in no time. So start with a single credit. If the first reel doesn’t stop with a symbol on the payline, stick to a single-credit bet for the next spin. But if that first reel puts a symbol on the payline, up the bet, even if the second or third reel doesn’t. As long as the first reel puts a symbol on the payline, keep upping the bet all the way to max bet. But as soon as the first reel stops cooperating, drop back down to a one-credit wager. I call this system the Rule of Firsts. The thing about this system, of course, is it’s not really a system.
9.
This is what happens when you press the spin button on a slot machine: the button sends an electromagnetic signal to a random number generator, which assigns a value to each reel that determines its position. In other words, before the reels even begin to spin the outcome of the game has been decided. So much for systems.
10.
The only parts of the transaction that are not ruled by chance are time spent on the machine and the amount of the wager. That’s why someone playing for money and not for fun always looks to maximize their bet on the fewest number of spins. This isn’t what most players want to hear. Most players want a little drama, a little suspense. Most players just want some action. The machine may know the outcome, but you don’t, and that’s good enough. Most players will tell you they’re hoping to hit the jackpot, but will settle for minimal payouts. Players tend to stay on the machines that pay out frequently because they feel as though their time is being rewarded, even when they’re losing, which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.
11.
The posture of the player playing for money is distinct from the player playing for fun. If body language is a spiritual “tell,” system players are miserable people. Playing for fun is more fun than playing for money. No surprise there. Sometimes you win even when you lose.
12.
Most experts will tell you that gambling is a game of chance; those experts are wrong. Gambling is a psychological phenomenon. Gambling takes place in the mind, not at a slot machine, horse track, poker table or back alley dice game. Gambling is the metaphysical absorption and dispensation of risk for the purpose of sport with real-life consequences. This is why gambling makes no sense to people who are risk-averse and is vastly appealing to fabulists. Gambling taps into our imagination. Gambling makes us believe things we ought not to believe, which is as good a definition of fiction as one is likely to find.
13.
What about luck? Luck has nothing to do with anything unless you’re the kind of person who thinks it has everything to do with everything. People who believe in luck tend not to be system players. Luck isn’t what’s making the casinos rich. Luck doesn’t pay the rent or the car payment or the cosmetic surgeon. Luck doesn’t keep the lights on at Thunderclap. But going to a casino and not believing in luck is like going to church and not believing in heaven.